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Ironic? : Ed Byrne

 Anybody, while i'm talking about music, does anybody here like Alanis Morrisette? Oh oh a bit definite about it there "yes indeed, i'm trying to let laid"..... "Don't slag Alanis, she speaks the voice of disaffected woman"....

She's a moanin cow! She is.... and even people who like Alanis Morrisette have to admit she's a whinging bint... honestly. "It's Not Fair....." Oh you moanin cow, Jesus! No wonder he left you for god sake.

 Remember that song Ironic... "Isn't it Ironic?".... No... It's Not... Ask me another!

She kept naming all these things in the song that were supposed to be Ironic..... and none of them were. They were all just...... Unfortunate. The song should of been called 'Unfortunate' hows that. The only ironic thing about that song is that it's called ironic and it's written by a woman who doesn't know what irony is. Thats quite ironic when you think about it.

She should've called the song "phhaaah", what woulda been a good name.... Don't know how you'd spell it but it would've been a good name.... "Heres Alanis Morisette with her new single "Phhaaah", taken from the album "hmmmnnhhh"".... that would work.

Cause you look at some of the lyrics like "a traffic jam when you're already late".... that's not ironic it's just a pain in the hole that's what that is. When was the last time you were late for something, got stuck in a traffic jam and thought "Look on the irony on this hey, there's irony for ya. I'll tell ya I was in a fierce ironic traffic jam the other day i'll tell ya. The irony was ninety."

No, there's nothing ironic about being stuck in a traffic jam when your late for something. Unless your a town planner. If you were a town planner and you late to a seminar of town planners at which you were giving a talk on how you solved the problem of traffic congestion in your area, couldn't get to it because you were stuck in a traffic jam, that'd be well ironic wouldn't it..... "Lads, I'm sorry I missed it, you'll never guess ".... Maybe thats what she meant?

"It's like rain on your wedding day", only if you're getting married to a weatherman and he set the date. It's simple innit?

"A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break". That's inconsiderate office management. Thats what that is...... A no-smoking sign in a cigerette factory- IRONY. It's not a difficult concept Alanis. It's very rare you see a ironic no-smoking sign, although if you ever see one of those that say thank-you for not smoking...... and you are. Fairly ironic when that happens I suppose.

The best line in that song, the best line ever written, ever, has got to be the line "It's like 10 000 spoons when all you need is a knife." That's not ironic that's just stupid. How big is your sink alanis? I mean really? We haven't got 10 000 spoons beween us have we folks? What do you need this knife for? To stab the bastard who keeps leaving spoons all over your house.

But we'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Cause you like her, we will. Imagine you needed a knife for something, couldn't find one cause all you found was 10 000 spoons.... it could happen!!! And therefore you couldn't do whatever it was you needed the knife for, and then the next day it turned out that a spoon would have done."You were only taking the lid of a tin of paint, you could've used a spoon for that ya dick... i have 10,000 of the bastards!!! Thats Ironic hey?"